Via Email

Atlanta Tower: "Saudi Air 511 - You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."
Atlanta Tower: "Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 27L."
Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L - Allah is Great."

Pause...

Saudi Air: "ATLANTA TOWER - ATLANTA TOWER !"
Atlanta Tower: "Go ahead Saudi Air 511..
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE... INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"
Atlanta Tower: "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
Y'all go on ahead now and tell Allah 'hey' for us."